Graphic Novel: Batman Year One coming this summer

An animated film based on the graphic novel Batman Year one is coming out on dvd soon and it sounds super freaking cool like bat balls on your chin. Listen to what the producer has to say.

Geek: Event Coverage - MTV Games

Well I'm definitely gonna watch that dvd for free online cuz I always watch free s@#t online. Keep paying for it suckers.

The Battle of the X-men Blue Broads

Well there is a new X-men film coming out and its a dumb idea because its a prequel. Just totally reboot the freaking thing. It would allow everything to be new again instead of just bringing in new characters for the sake of bringing in new characters. But I'm focused on the new chick playing Mystique. Jennifer Lawrence. Lets compare her to Rebecca Romjin.

Now Rebecca Rojmin

I guess Rebecca Romijin wins but they both look like scaly blue lizards and I hate the lizard race especially ones from Buffalo, NY. 

Graphic Novel: The Dark Knight Returns soon to be an animated film, F%#K Yea!!

Holy shite on my chest,  Batman! This is amazing news. Frank Miller's vision of the Dark Knight as a geezer who can still f%#k shite up, is gonna be an animated film. So many great things happen in this novel. Batman finally kills the Joker, Alfred dies helping Batman, Batman beats the crap out of Superman and fakes his death in the process. He ceases being Bruce Wayne and only the Dark Knight remains. Damn the only thing better than this film would be a live action version. That would knock everyone's head off and I would shoot in my pants endlessly if that film ever came into existence. Here's a preview of what to expect.

Superhero Films Most Bangable Broads

In no particular order.
Kim Basinger She was such a piece of arse in her day. Since then she hit the wall and even Batman wouldn't be seen in the Batmobile with her. Toss her butt out.

Michelle Pfeiffer Another chick who has seen better days but was definitely smoking. Claw me like she did Batman and see what I do to that pussy.

Scarlett Johansson Now this chick is hot and definitely hasn't hit the wall yet. She needs that Iron Man pipe.

 Katie Holmes This chick is a drag but definitely was doable. And then she got nuts about Alien Gods. I need to fill out the list, so she's on it.
* No pic available cuz she's a drag and I don't want her on my list. I'm skipping her.

Jennifer Garner This chick has a great body. Tight and athletic. But she married that freaking bucket head Ben Afferleck. Still slaughter her.

Jennifer Connelly This chick forget about it. What big CANS she has. She was wasted in the Hulk. I'd give her the big green veiny sausage. POW!!!

Natalie Portman Well she's in the new Thor flick coming out. She looks good. A bit of a fidget.

Kat Dennings Another chick from Thor but she's no fidget and has huge CANS. Lay her out with that Thor hammer, she won't remember shite. Only 2 hits, her hittin the floor, me hittin the c#%t, sucking on your t%#s.

Kneel before Michael Shannon: The New Zod

The news is in and Michael Shannon has been cast as Zod in the new Zack Snyder Superman film coming out next year. I just shot in my pants. I think its great casting, the dude can act his butt cheeks off. He was good in 8 mile where he played a guy who banged Eminem's mom in a trailer park. He also played a good whacked out man-boy in Revolutionary Road.

 But can he match the original Zod, Terence Stamp.

This wanker has his work cut out for him.

Is the new Wolverine Anime lame like Hugh Jackman?

A new Wolverine anime is coming out and it freaking rocks like balls in your mouth. He's slicing crap, blood is spewing everywhere and he doesn't apologize for it. Check it out. The one problem I see is that he speaks this new alien language called Japanese.

Game Trailers - E3 2011

Now that's Wolverine, harsh and deadly with 6 claws. Not this Hugh Jackman, all nice and sweet leading man, bad boy garbage. It's disrespectful to the true image of The Wolverine!!! Give up the role douche bag and go do one of those plays where you kiss a guy every night.

Wonder Woman: To Bang or Not to Bang?

Well there is a new Wonder Woman television show being produced and the number one question that needs to be answered is: would guys bang this new chick playing Wonder Woman? YES!!!

In my opinion she gets an invitation to Slaughter House, no questions asked and she's buying pizza for me and all my homeboys. But all jokes aside the female lead here is everything. She needs to carry the show like Sigourney Weaver carried the Alien films; and be strong and compelling. On that note, I give the show less than one season before it gets canceled. Come on man, a broad wearing hot pants and a lasso is gonna be a big show.

Superman Vs Batman

It's the age old question who would win in an all out battle between Superman and Batman. 

The only way to answer this question is to see who's costume is less gay looking. I gotta give it to Batman because his suit is black and no one can clearly see how gay he looks in black tights or whatever the hell its made of. Just look at Superman's picture below nuff said.What's that white stuff on his upper lip Preparation H.Try Preparation Homo.

But in the end it doesn't matter how gay looking Superman is he can still ring Batman's neck for calling him gay and make him his boy lover.

And the guy has a serious pimp hand.

Thor: The God Of Steroids

 

Hey I have an observation to make about the new Thor film coming out. Here it is. "There is no way the dude playing Thor isn't on steroids." For real Chris Hemsworth was previously in Star Trek (2009) and in that movie he was a tall string bean. He was cast as Thor in early 2010 and filming began a few months later. 

So with 5 months to go before filming began he started on the juice specifically Dexamethasone aka Decka. The guy claimed he put on 35lbs and of that weight 20lbs was muscle. In such a short amount of time it is impossible to do such things without the assistance of drugs. I knew a guy who took Decka and it added 100lbs to his bench press and this guy was in his forties. Yeah right this Thor dude only ate chicken breasts and shakes to get that big. I bet those chicken breasts were followed up by weekly injections of the Decka. Hey I want some of that roids too, I'll put it on my cheeseburger. Decka from Asgard.

The Coming Of The Green Lantern

The new Green Lantern trailer is out and only two words can describe it. Potentially Epic. Yes, it is potentially epic because the filmmakers are taking the material serious and that is desperately needed to make this film work. Cut out all that Ryan Reynolds comedy shtick. I'll allow one line that's it but don't push it because the next thing you know we get that annoying crap we saw in Transformers with that freaking mom running around all high and yelling like a moron.  Smack the crap out of her.

The scenes on the Green Lantern home world of Oa are awesome. All the different species of lanterns and Sinestro, I loved it. The effects still need to be tightened up but this footage is definitely giving the geeks a hard-on.

Top Ten Superhero Film List

These are my top ten best superhero films.

1-Superman The Movie (The first superhero film that started it all with the greatest film score)
2-The Dark Knight (The greatest villain performance)
3-Spider-Man 2 (Great character story)
4-Batman (Michael Keaton does the best Batman performance)
5-Spider-Man (One of the best origin stories)
6-Batman Begins (A new beginning done right)
7-Iron Man (The best superhero costume made for film)
8-Superman II (Christopher Reeve's last best performance as superman)
9-Incredible Hulk (A very decent flick)
10-Batman Returns (The last best Batman performance)